We were all kids at some point. For the most part, child logic is shrouded in a cloud of mystery. Even as grownups or parents, it becomes difficult to understand the psychology behind why a kid said or did something. This time, people share stories of themselves as a child or their kid being a total nutjob, and it’s the sweetest thing you’ll see all week. Enjoy!
It Wasn’t You, Right?
With age, a child’s vocabulary increases. Not just the regular sentences, but also with metaphors, jokes, and just random smart things that adults say. So, it’s understandable if a kid is confused about a certain term.
Oftentimes, it will help parents analyze their child’s creative process or mental growth. When Miriel was penning down a condolence letter expressing how sorry she was about the passing of her friend’s mom, her son had a burning question that if you really think about it, makes sense.
Setting Priorities Straight
How do you differentiate between needs and wants? Needs are the items or services you need to live a healthy, fulfilling life, while wants are everything you think will make you feel better. Here’s a kid who has their priorities set. Let’s take a look.
They want vegetables (the parents don’t have to struggle with that, phew), a bike for some outdoor fun, candies, water, air, clothes, and a tablet (because it’s the 21st century and everyone wants technology). However, what they truly need is a hippopotamus. Fair.
I’m Leaving, Susan
Being the only kid in the house has its perks. For example, everyone is showering you with attention, you never have to share, and you are treated like royalty. The moment you have a sibling and you’re forced to share the spotlight, this can be a difficult transition for some.
Here’s the most adorable girl who was not okay with her mother having another child. She knew she had to find a home where she would be loved as she deserved. Dejectedly, she packed up her stuff and tried to flee in an attempt to find it.
Virtual Field Trip
Global digitalization has made life so much easier. You can sit in the comfort of your own home and tour the entire world. That’s how a virtual tour works, so amidst the pandemic establishing a firmer grip on humanity, a ton of “virtual” alternatives took over.
However, kids don’t necessarily understand the difference between virtual reality and real life. So, this daughter was all packed and ready for her virtual trip to Disney World. We like how the mother was low-key offended that her daughter didn’t consider her FOMO issues.
For the Bears
Kids are naturally pure at heart. This is the stage when every soul is untouched by the ever-consuming darkness and evil that awaits them when they step into adulthood. Too dark? Well, this post sure isn’t. In fact, it’s guaranteed to put a smile on your face.
After watching a documentary where a bear was licking the yogurt from a yogurt lid that it found by going through people’s garbage, this Redditor had a spiritual awakening. From then on he left yogurt out on the lids for bears because conserving wildlife is important.
Her Rock Collection
Children grow a fondness towards collecting things they like, which is why many adults can recall collecting barbies, toy cars, stamps, and more when they were younger. However, what about a rock collection? As strange as it sounds, it really is a thing.
This dude’s girlfriend had a younger sister, who despite her age and size, had a really heavy backpack. When they finally opened it up to reveal what was weighing it down, the answer was that she collected “beautiful cube rocks.”
Run Aaron, Run!
Since their vocabularies and learning skills aren’t as developed at that stage, kids will often make up names for objects. Ellie had a very similar story to share. As a child, she used to mishear the word “errands” for “Aarons,” which is also her father’s name.
We now know that “running an errand” means going out to finish a task, but she used to think adults name their chores after themselves. How endearing is that? Maybe we’ll start to catch on to this.
The Mysterious Egg
As parents, you need to be the bad guy sometimes. You need to learn to say no. A six-year-old told their father that they had found something but they wouldn’t reveal what it was since the dad would simply ask him to stay away from it. It was some sort of egg.
Obviously, the kid was asked to stay away from it. However, after close inspection, the father realized it was only a rock. The son insisted it was a dragon’s or snake’s egg but nope, it just wasn’t that mysterious.
Ant or Aunt?
As a child, were you familiar with this theory that if you draw a circle around an ant, it can’t escape it? These children got to know this from their parents, but they weren’t exactly able to wrap their heads around it. As expected, they did something funny to test it out.
Instead of drawing the circle around a group of ants, they drew it around the chair their aunt Mary was sitting on. This is similar to a “Bee vs Be” situation. They tried, at least. Let’s give them an ‘A’ for effort!
Rebranding for the Greater Good
Fooling people isn’t right. But what about fooling toddlers when they’re being stubborn and petty when you’re only trying to do what’s best for them? That’s chapter one of the parents’ manual. Their kids won’t always be a ball of sunshine, occasionally they’ll be a total pain in their backside.
So, when this little girl decided she was done with the vegetable squash, the parents decided to do some strategic rebranding – everyone, check out these yummy yellow cucumbers!
Sharing Is Caring
For families with more than one kid, it gets pretty challenging if the children don’t get along. Teaching kids to be loving, supportive, and cooperative from a young age is the best way to keep them in line.
So, when this Redditor’s daughter received a five-dollar bill as a gift, she remembered the importance of sharing and decided to tear the note into two so that her brother could also get some. How adorable?!
The Simpsons Over Everything
We’re pretty sure that this mom was infuriated by this. Having a child can be a big moment for any woman. Recordings, pictures, journals, and so much more help to keep the memories alive. They’re like small treasures that families cherish forever.
So having a tape of an unborn baby’s ultrasound is an irreplaceable possession. Unfortunately, it was replaced in the end and worst of all by the reruns of the popular animated series The Simpsons.
Just a Toy
A two-year-old was terrified of going into her room. When her parents asked her why she replied with a very cryptic “Bad Yoda watch her.” Goes without saying that the parents were not comfortable with her answer.
However, they later realized it was nothing more than the backside of a Powerpuff Girl’s toy. Not going to lie, when we first saw the big googly eyes of the Bubbles toy, we were slightly spooked too.
The Time Thief
Pre-kindergarten students are generally four to five years old. Given how young they are, you can’t expect them to be extremely intelligent and solve calculus (special cases omitted). As a pre-kindergartener, one student thought that everyone used their class calendar to keep track of the days.
Mischief took over her one day and she sneakily messed it up. The teacher didn’t fix it, so for a few years, she was left thinking she messed up the entire time continuum.
Can’t Find His Parents
This kid has survival instincts which are pretty impressive at such a young age. His family rented out a three-bedroom beach house for their trip. One night, after finding the bed in the master bedroom too uncomfortable, the parents shifted to the spare bedroom.
Upon finding his parents missing the following morning, the boy knew he had to take matters into his own hands. He walked all the way up to the beach, scoped out the neighboring houses, and finally brought a stranger in to help find the missing couple.
Becoming a Mermaid
Talent comes in multiple forms. You’re either born with it or learn it and nurture it to reach its zenith. Or, you delude yourself into believing you’ve got a gift. Either way, a little denial never hurt anybody.
Just ask this girl. She doesn’t need to use her arms or legs to swim, she’s born to be in the water. It’s just the small fact that she was floating on her back. Then again, if she’s happy like that, why not float forever?
A Babysitter’s Nightmare
Has anyone ever felt like babysitters truly don’t get enough appreciation for their services? Not to mention, the bad pay. If they’re lucky enough, they get to work with a calm child who doesn’t need more than food, attention, and sleep to function.
Then we have these kids. They are hyperactive and don’t know where to stop. Little Audrey took advantage of the fact that her babysitter was distracted for one minute. She removed her diaper and proceeded to do something we can’t speak about without vomiting.
The Eerie Bath Mat
Adults may suffer from a variety of phobias. The fear of spiders – Arachnobia, the fear of enclosed dark spaces – Claustrophobia, the fear of small holes – Trypophobia, among many others. Kids, on the other hand, suffer from fear without meaning.
Does this bath mat seem like anything is peculiar to you? Was it haunted? No. A family from Edmonton has a one-year-old who was immensely scared of it. Out of options, the family had to sell it off for their child’s sanity.
You Got What Stuck?
This one reminds us of the one pre-teen who burned her hair off with a hair straightener. If you haven’t watched that video, we highly recommend it. What’s concerning about this image is that the girl doesn’t seem to be too young. In fact, we would think she was pre-teen or teen.
Under these circumstances, we fail to understand why she would attempt fitting an entire hammer inside her cheeks. Needless to say, she was rather terrified to share it with her mother. Imagine coming home to that…
There Goes the Switch
When you can’t get your kid to heed your words the nice way, you shake things up. For example, if they can’t adhere to your rules then they don’t get to keep their fun vices. So, when this parent decided to sell their son’s Nintendo Switch, we knew they had reached their limit.
The fact that this kid would go to the bathroom while showering is really weird to us. Perhaps the kid needs therapy instead of getting his gamer taken away?
An Eco-Friendly Approach
First things first, we are quite disappointed at this school. Not having toilet paper in the bathrooms should be considered a major violation of hygiene codes. No wonder the author of the post had to resort to such drastic measures.
Due to the lack of toilet paper on the school’s premises, they used to use their undershirt to wipe themselves. For an entire month, they would walk around school with a big wet stain on it. It wasn’t until their mother realized what the pungent smell was that this weird act stopped.
YouTube Searches These Days
Parents will often put a child lock on their devices to prevent them from venturing off into restricted territory. So, when your young one is in constant contact with the internet, it’s important to keep a close eye on them.
The internet can get pretty dark super-fast. However, does this kid care? No. They have their goals set. They know what they want to know. It’s extremely specific and it’s mostly related to ‘potty talk.’
The Nap Trick
You love your kids or younger siblings, we all do. However, we can’t deny that they will often get too much to handle. With their overwhelming curiosity or sensitive attitudes, children aren’t always the best company to have around.
You can never go wrong with a bit of strategy so we praise this mom for her nap trick. She turns a Spanish movie on to confuse her kids and then tells them to take a nap to wear it off. After that, she’ll put the same movie on in English and everything’s peachy!
A Little Wholesome Stupidity
There are two kinds of stupidity in the kid’s area – one that makes you facepalm yourself and go, “Who raised this one?” while the other simply makes your heart flutter because it’s too wholesome. Here’s an example of the latter.
The post’s author noticed a mom and her daughter staring at them. After a while and some encouragement from her mother, the girl walked up to them and asked a super important question about how they got help putting on their daily tattoos. Very cute indeed!
Let Him Be Pants!
Growing up, Halloween is a big deal. Not only do you get to dress up as whatever or whoever you like, but you also get free candy! If you’ve hosted Halloween functions at your place or even remember yourself knocking on doors on this eventful night, you would know the general outfits kids seems to love.
Fairies, superheroes, robots, princesses, and more. But when you want to stand out, you have to go the extra mile. Like for example, be a pair of pants.
Fear the Tomato
Some kids seem to have this inexplicable fear of broccoli. It’s like the green spiral of demise. One kid had the same feelings, but for a different fruit. As the three-year-old was running into the basement with her parents to protect themselves from the tornado, she mixed the words up.
Instead of a tornado, she thought of a “tomato.” Somehow, that scared her even more. We have all the reason to believe she watched Cloudy With a Chance Of Meatballs for her to be terrified of a tomato.
She Has a Point
This little girl has a point in that her admirer was well aware of what he was doing at the time. Well, as aware as a child can be of the consequences of their actions. Of course, it’s rare for men to grow out of these types of behaviors.
Whether they’re 10, 20, or 40, males will always do stupid things to try and impress the person they have a crush on. As dumb as it is, we have to admit that it’s pretty cute.
Comedy of Errors
One amazing thing about children – they can be super entertaining when they’re not nagging you or being difficult. We all broke the rules as children once in our lives. We tried literally everything so our parents wouldn’t ground us.
This string of comedic errors has given us the giggles for days. This kid drew on his face with a marker and instead of taking his mom’s help to wash it off, he made himself into a mummy. Then he ran into a wall and almost passed out. You can’t not laugh!
Basically the Same Thing
In this case, we’re not quite sure if the kid was only a bit silly or really was trying to give her dad a hard time. To be fair to this four-year-old, this tweet was posted in 2018, so her not knowing what an N95 is, is pretty plausible.
We do absolutely love that the whole situation turned into a whodunit, with everyone heading out to see the alleged evidence. Plus, it’s good to see that the Mrs. gave her goofy hubby the benefit of the doubt.
Makes Sense to Her
If you’ve ever seen a lonely kid’s shoe lying on the road and wondered who it belonged to and why is a single one on the road, we have the answer for you. The post author is a single dad who has had it with his kids and their shoes.
He would specifically ask them to not take them off, especially for shorter trips. With that said, his daughter threw her show at the window in order to not make him mad. As strange as that sounds to us, it probably made sense in her little noggin’.
Some Big-Brain Energy
Now here’s a question with multiple interesting aspects to it. His mother informed him that he was wearing shoes on the wrong feet. Being six and having an inquisitive mind means that he would analyze it from a point we adults wouldn’t consider.
He promptly answered that he doesn’t have other feet, which is technically correct. His mother should have said he has mixed the shoes up in terms of left or right foot, but she surely wasn’t aware her son has a complex mind.
Almost There, Honey
Before anything, we would like to say that we genuinely like this kid. Isn’t it obvious why? Other kids would perhaps throw a tantrum as to why they hadn’t reached home after four long hours of driving. Not him, he kept patience.
A kid as adorable as that surely deserves a trip to Disneyland for his birthday. Moreover, even after they reached it, he couldn’t completely comprehend what was going on. In fact, he was more worried about who would feed the cat. Little man hasn’t forgotten what’s important!
Take Advantage of the Dumbness
Parents, kids grow up fast. It’s important that you make the best use of this time. Parenting is definitely hard, but if you know your way around a few shortcuts, you can make life much easier. For instance, what to do when your kid is being unnecessarily stubborn?
“Toddlers are dumb. Take advantage of it” – one dad said. His toddler said they didn’t want butter on their toast. The solution wasn’t making them a new toast but simply flipping it around so they would now see the dry side.
It’s Pure Insanity
Growing up with siblings is a good thing – given the kids have their relationship built on love and respect. Take a look at these brothers who have been a rebellious pair from the start. As a child, Seth would ask his elder brother to put him inside a pillowcase and swing him around.
This could get dangerous relatively fast so don’t get any ideas! The parent was only able to come forward with this story after both of them grew up and they couldn’t lose custody of their sons.
Wizardry and Witchcraft
One boy has been living under the impression that his mother is a witch, yet all could have been solved had he studied basic color theory.
The mother helped him out with a simple coloring trick when the son used the wrong color. She didn’t deny it when he asked her if she was a witch. That’s some way to get your son to listen to you, we have to say.
We Only Need the Bag
Deceiving people is bad, but not when you’re doing it to feed your kids homemade food. Children can develop an unhealthy attachment to takeout. While it might taste great at first, in the long run, it isn’t good for the body – neither for adults nor children.
Little Alfie wouldn’t eat much unless it was Taco Bell. His parents found a way to make both parties happy! He gets his food in a Taco Bell bag and they get to feed him healthy meals. Deception: 100. Stealth: 100.
See You Later, Chicken
Children hear something for the first time and are introduced to a whole new world. Seeing them digest a new concept is always entertaining. Not to mention wholesome. A Redditor said the phrase “See you later, alligator,” to a four-year-old, and the child’s reaction was hilarious.
In complete bewilderment, the little one tried to decode the sentence. They realized that the Redditor had called them an animal, so they thought to reciprocate. Thus, the inception of the words “See you later, chicken.” Cute, right?!
The Destructive Duo
“911! I was vandalized!” Screams this dad as he looks into the mirror. Streaks of red paint across his face are drawn into weird patterns. After working overnight, he decided to take a brief afternoon nap to revitalize the body.
He woke up and took his dog for a walk, as per usual. His neighbor pointed out weird lines on his face. Thankfully, he was able to catch the perpetrators. One of them kept blaming the other who couldn’t possibly pull the stunt off with four legs!
Hide and Seek
The sheer frustration of playing hide and seek where everyone occupies the good hiding spots can actually help your creative juices flow. We love how this kid chose an unconventional spot but maybe next time he’ll make sure it’s not see-through…
Given how small he is, this little guy could’ve easily fit into any crook or cranny of the house. However, he still chose to hide in plain sight. Another Redditor playfully commented about how the kid would go places, not to college, but places.
The Sun Has a Temper
Thanks to how skittish and dumb kids can be, it’s pleasingly easy to prank them. Not the I-will-burst-into-flames kind of prank, more like an I-will-scream-for-the-next-hour prank.
A Twitter user’s daughter misheard the word sunscreen as “sunscream,” and she surely didn’t want the sun screaming at her. The mischievous mother pushed her outside and yelled at the sun to take her. It goes without saying that the young girl flipped out. Imagine the chaos!
Two in Two Days
One of the tougher aspects of having children around the house is constantly having to keep an eye on them. You remove your gaze for one second and they’ve somehow managed to develop a new bump, or broken their favorite toy, or set the kitchen on fire.
A kid swallowed a sim key one day. Instead of learning his lesson, he tried to replicate how that happened to his younger brother and swallowed a penny in the process. We’re worried for the kid and we haven’t even met him!
Mind-Blowing Information on Teams
There’s nothing better than opening up a child’s mind to new horizons. So, seeing how only the opposite team was getting to change their jerseys, a concerned six-year-old asked his father why their team had to stick to purple. It was now the dad’s turn to blow his son’s mind!
Upon learning that they were going against a new team every week, the boy was completely floored. He probably never considered the possibilities of multiple rival teams existing for one team.
Why Would You Save It?
Mentally prepare a list of things you will never get back. Examples include your childhood, the time you spent in college reading a subject you never got to utilize in real life, or in this kid’s case, a fart. From all the laughs he experienced from being tickled, the boy accidentally let one rip.
The moment that happened, he started to scream and cry. His answer to why he was even crying was that he had been saving the fart for later. How and why would you even save a fart? You just gotta love kids!
Uncooked Mashed Potatoes
A lot of these “dumb kid” stories come from children who are under the age of 10, so to find a 12-year-old here with an incident like this is rather concerning. Though he was trying to do something good and we’ll give him that.
He called up his parent and complained about how hard the potatoes were when he tried mashing them. He was quick to note that their mother must have had superhuman strength for always being able to do it with ease. The genius had forgotten to cook the potatoes.
“No Tag” Policy
All kids are born somewhat smart. They rarely have inhibitions, enabling them to solve a problem in a way that we adults would never consider. The author of this post shared an incident from their girlfriend’s school. She teaches the first grade.
The school doesn’t allow kids to play tag there. Interestingly enough, the children figured out that they didn’t need to touch each other to play the game. Why not cough near each other? Goes with the entire theme of 2020 and 2021. Modern problems require modern solutions.
Who Did it?
There’s a proverb that goes, “A guilty mind is always suspicious.” This means that a guilty person will always feel like they are being mentioned when there’s trouble involved. However, children aren’t the best at lying, which is great.
A dad found drawings on the walls of his house one day and knew there was one obvious culprit. He simply called out his four-year-old’s name and he replied with, “I didn’t draw on the wall.” The child owned up to his crime a little too early…
A Successful Trade
It’s fascinating to see the lengths children will go to in order to get a sweet treat, especially if they come from strict homes that limit their allowance of sugary snacks.
This very weak exchange here meant that one kid walked away with a single Oreo, will the other scored a tablet that’s probably worth a few hundred dollars. Luckily, the kid with the winning deal has a responsible parent who is trying to rectify the situation.
This parent has every right in the world to call themselves a genius. Not only have they gotten their kids to stop fighting, but they even have them calmly and peacefully negotiating. This is a common parenting technique that really does work.
If you tell your kid they can’t do something, they’ll only want to do it more. However, if you permit something, it’s pretty likely your child will end up getting bored with it anyway.
Despite all the positives of humanity, you have to admit, humans are pretty annoying. They don’t listen, they don’t think of others as much as they should, and some are just plain frustrating. Though it would be great if everyone thought of each other before they acted, sadly that isn’t the norm. Join us as we check out people acting like complete jerks, and others shaming them online for it.
They’re Paid for That
Let’s kick things off with something that really grinds our gears. You’ll notice that jerks always say some version of “they’re paid for that” as an excuse for leaving things in a total mess.
In this case, it’s leaving a shopping cart sitting in the middle of the parking lot instead of returning it. Lots of people think that just because someone is hired to do a job, you should leave a mess for them. In reality, it’s just a sorry excuse for laziness.
Crystal Clear Camera Lens
Here we have an image from the window of a pawn shop. As you can see, a very helpful shopkeeper has placed the price sticker for this camera right across the front of the lens. The thing about cameras is, the lens is a pretty big deal. Like, without a clear lens, the entire thing is compromised.
We have to hope that this shopkeeper just has no experience with cameras. If not, they are a total jerk that apparently wants to sabotage their own sales.
I’ll Set it Here
Here’s another of those people that leaves a mess knowing someone else will clear it up. In this case, it’s leaving two Starbucks cups lying on a display inside a clothing store. You see, one of those people that’s paid to do things will be forced to come along and throw it in the trash.
But, why couldn’t these people throw their own drinks in the trash? Malls are packed full of trash cans, and we’re pretty sure they know how to toss their own trash.
That Seems About Right
Truth be told, it’s difficult for us to look at this picture. Here we have an image from a classroom, where someone’s college professor considers this a clean blackboard. That’s right, you read correctly — this professor considers this to be a clean blackboard. As in, he will continue to teach and write on top of this absolute mess.
We don’t really know how to be comfortable in a world where people are doing things like this. Hopefully, someone sneaks in at night with a wet rag.
Of All the Grocery Sins
We’ll be honest — several of these are about people leaving things in the wrong location. And who can blame us? That’s clearly top-tier jerk behavior. This picture shows a particularly annoying example. Someone has lifted some raw chicken drumsticks and then changed their mind and plonked them down in the candy aisle.
Any reasonable person will know that this chicken will now be un-chilled and dangerous. Is it so difficult to return it to the refrigerator?
Can Everyone See?
This pair has decided to give a presentation to a large room with around 100 people in it, using a laptop. Clearly, they forgot the important step of checking out the location and facilities before showing up. As a result, it’s pretty obvious that no one in the room can see this laptop.
These unprepared speakers should have printed out notes, borrowed a projector, or just put the laptop away altogether. They might not be the worst jerks on the list, but they’re a little jerky.
Have a Restful Sleep
As well as the grocery store, airplanes are another great location to find jerks. You see, people from all corners of the world come together in airports, and when that happens, bad behavior occurs. Maybe it’s culture clashes, maybe it’s just rude, but there’s a higher than usual ratio of jerks on an airplane.
This person was about to settle down for the night on a long-haul flight. As always, the pilot dimmed the plane lights. Then came the headphones.
Explain it to Me
Here’s another image that’s likely to make some people start itching with irritation. This is a dish of French fry ends, because this person’s girlfriend doesn’t eat the end of her fries. We suppose this is the equivalent of not eating breadcrumbs — except that breadcrumbs are gross and fries are delicious.
This jerk behavior does have a small upside — this person’s partner always gets a side of fry-ends. Admittedly, that doesn’t sound as delicious as just eating a full French fry, but we’ll take what we can get.
Guys, Hear Me Out
In life, there are different types of people. For some people, when you get to the end of a bottle of mustard, you buy another one and throw the old one in the trash.
For others, when you get to the end of a bottle of mustard, you buy another one, and keep the old one in the fridge. Because there’s still some in the bottle, right? However, when you never throw any condiments away, you end up with a scene like this.
Ready to Go?
It’s time for another jerk hotspot — the gym! The gym is absolutely packed full of jerks, including those that can’t clean up after themselves. This picture shows a weightlifting area in a gym that’s been left a mess. For some reason, the people lifting weights here couldn’t lift them back to their original location.
This is extra maddening because weightlifting is all about lifting weights (duh). Why would you miss the great opportunity to lift another weight while putting it back in place?
Maddening Marker Tips
Stationery lovers know the joy of a brand new ultra-fine dry erase marker. They know the delight of a new notepad, the scent of limited edition gel pens, and the snap of a good stapler. All in all, stationery lovers know what’s what.
That’s why it’s so incredibly jerkish to destroy these gentle people’s goods. If all it takes to make someone happy is a dry erase pen, then avoid smooshing the pen’s tip until it’s far from ultra-fine.
Standing Room Only
Generally, on public transport, it’s good manners to offer your seat up to another passenger. This is extra true if that passenger is elderly, pregnant, or unwell — it just makes sense, it’s just polite. This picture shows some teenagers that have two seats each and still aren’t offering them up to someone else.
If these teens just moved their legs, both they and the standing passengers could have a comfortable bus ride home. Hopefully, someone set them straight.
Tunes for Everyone
And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have one of the great tormentors of our times. Rather than just play his music annoyingly from his phone, this teen has taken things a step further. This music lover has strapped a giant speaker to his back, apparently thinking that everyone wants to hear his lousy tunes.
Unbelievably, this person isn’t using headphones. Imagine having the confidence to think that everyone in your vicinity would want to hear your music choices. Ridiculous!
It Hurts My Brain
For a moment, while looking at this picture, we were lost for words. Indeed, looking at this image for too long does hurt our brain. It can’t quite compute what’s going on. Or, more importantly, why it’s going on. Why, why, why?!
This began as a delightfully decorated birthday cake, and ended as a hacked-up, depressing almost-jigsaw. Whoever took the first piece of this cake must have started a horrible trend that just kept going. Our assessment? Jerks all around!
Office Niggles and Nuisances
While we’re in the office, let’s take some time to spot other office-dwelling jerks. This person takes issue with people that don’t reset the timer on the microwave. Basically, if you put food in for two minutes, and take it out with three seconds to go, then hit the ‘reset’ button before you leave.
Obviously pushing this button takes mere seconds. But, if you don’t do it after using the microwave, then the next person has to do it before making their food.
The Side Shuffle Approach
We’ve all experienced what’s going on in this picture, and no one is ever happy about it. This lady is taking the side shuffle approach to joining a line. Instead of just joining it at the back, in the way you’re supposed to, this lady is trying to merge with the line.
This technique is especially useful at airports where there’s a large group of people. Side shufflers can sidestep into the group, and eventually straighten out in the official line.
Summer Sale Super Jerks
Any retail workers know exactly what’s happened here. You see, when stores have sales, human beings lose all sense of what’s normal and acceptable behavior. Instead, they turn into raving shopping machines, creating mess and chaos in their wake.
During sale times, otherwise normal humans will lift clothing, look at it, and simply drop it on the floor. They’ll pull things off hangers and toss them on the rail, and they will never ever pick anything up. It’s jerk central.
A Job Half Done
Aha! Here we have yet another blackboard cleaning culprit. Or rather, a culprit that refuses to properly clean the blackboard. We have to imagine that these professors are just so engaged and enthusiastic about their subject that they can’t wait to keep teaching it.
Regardless, it’s just common sense to make sure that the area you’re teaching from is blank, to begin with. Otherwise, how are students supposed to concentrate? Somebody needs to have a word with this guy.
Avert Your Eyes
You know that internet meme that categorizes people based on their level of chaos? There’s chaotic good, neutral, and evil. And then there’s lawful good, neutral, and evil. Well, some might argue that this a case of chaotic neutral, while others would say this is utter chaotic evil.
We’d love to know how the owner of this laptop manages to get anything done. Surely living in this degree of digital chaos is a nightmare!
Stop it at Once
Before we even address this infuriating image, let’s remind ourselves how to properly cut avocados. Sorry — but it just needs to be said. You simply cut around the edges to open it up, and then remove the large stone. You can do this with one tap of a knife, or you can scoop it out with a spoon.
In any case, you should never, ever, ever do what’s been done here. It might seem harsh to call this person’s dad a jerk, but trust us.
Hair-y Nice to Meet You
Again, this image basically leaves us speechless. Here we have another unfortunate flier that’s found themselves sharing a plane with a total jerk. This is a very specific type of jerk-ery, one that’s maybe even admirably unique.
This person has extremely long hair, and has placed their mane down the back of their airplane seat. This means the poor traveler behind them is stuck with someone else’s gross hairs! This is simply unacceptable in any context. Keep your hair to yourself!
Feet Off the Table, Please
Likewise, it’s best practice to keep your feet to yourself, especially in a public place. This incredibly rude man is so focused on his work that he hasn’t noticed he’s being awful and gross. This laptop user has slipped off his shoes and put his sweaty, socked feet on top of a coffee table.
Clearly, this selfish slouch isn’t thinking of any of the people that might come after him. No one wants to eat their food off a footrest!
It Was Like That Already
As we’ve seen, when people are in public places, they behave differently than they would in private. Think about it — in movie theaters, people get up and leave trash lying in their chairs. They throw popcorn, they smear nacho cheese sauce. Then, when the lights go on, they walk out.
Similarly, when people try on shoes and then leave them lying on the floor, they also just walk out. It’s not that hard people… just tidy up after yourself!
Excuse Me Please
Here’s another example of people being jerks in public places. In this case, someone is trying to exit a train station or bridge, and these teens are blocking half of the stairway. Worse still, they’re spread out across the bottom steps, leaving no path for weary walkers.
We’re willing to say that these teens aren’t total jerks, just a little clueless. Plus, cities should have areas for people to sit and gather so this sort of thing doesn’t happen.
Somebody Call the Cops
Where do we begin with this? How do we begin to address what’s gone on here? First, someone should get some of those “crime scene” cones and place them around this sad roll of tape. Then, there should be a public campaign to make sure something like this never happens again.
For some reason we’ll never understand, someone borrowed their coworker’s roll of tape and returned it in this state. We think that person should be named and shamed.
I Said, “Move!”
Grocery stores are usually organized in the same basic way. Ideally, customers walk up and down each aisle, gradually getting to every part of the store. However, some grocery store chatterboxes like to stop for a lengthy conversation right in the middle of the produce aisle.
This sort of behavior means that other shoppers have to skirt around the edges, clumsily maneuvering their shopping carts. What’s more annoying is that these people could just move slightly and leave a path for everyone else.
Historically Poor Paving
Be warned — the more you look at this picture, the worse it gets. This is a chunk of sidewalk in someone’s historic neighborhood. When a patch of paving stones needed to be replaced, this is what ended up permanently etched into the ground.
You see, these stones should continue the pattern seen at the top of the picture. Instead, the hexagons are arranged randomly, with awful mismatched patches. If anything, we think the people in this neighborhood would have preferred a pothole.
Why Does This Bother Me?
To be completely honest, we can’t figure out exactly why this image is so annoying. However, we have no issue with saying that whoever does this with their Coke is a jerk. Sure, we can’t quite say why, but we know it’s true deep down.
This person clearly loves Coke, but doesn’t love it enough to finish a bottle. We suspect this Coke lover only likes the freshest stuff, but they could at least throw their old Coke dregs in the trash!
Internally Screaming Over Staples
It’s time folks — time for another office supplies jerk. Though you’ve probably just recovered from the borrowed roll of tape, we now have a borrowed staple disaster. And really, we mean disaster.
The person who took this snap lent their stapler to a coworker. When they got it back, the coworker claimed that the stapler had run out of staples. However, on closer examination, it’s clear they just don’t know how to use a stapler. Cool, cool, cool.
Someone Else Will Do It
Here’s another flavor of the “someone is paid to do that” type of jerk. This shot from a food court shows a messy table covered with grimy napkins, used ketchup, and old soda. We can basically feel the stickiness just by looking at it.
The people that left this mess obviously thought that someone else would come along and clean up after them. And sadly, they will have. The thing is, it’s easier for everyone to just clear up their own mess.
Selfish Shoppers Strike Again
Shopping must really bring out the worst in people. Where else are humans so thoughtless, lazy, and self-centered? Well, probably everywhere. This photo shows a tub of coleslaw lying in the electrical section of a grocery store. Because someone couldn’t be bothered to return it to the fridge, it’s now wasted.
While there’s no accountability in a grocery store, we wish people felt some sense of responsibility. Truly, these are the actions of a jerk.
Sloppy Stairwells and Grimy Guardrails
You would hope that students would care about their own surroundings, but clearly, that’s not always the case. This picture shows the sloppy stairwells and grimy guardrails at someone’s school. We certainly wouldn’t want to stroll through here on the way to class.
We’d be worried about catching some sort of infection. Hopefully, this school has plenty of trash cans available for its students. If so, there’s absolutely no excuse for all of this mess!
They Can’t Be Trusted
We can certainly see why a parent would want their kid to have their own bathroom. Ultimately, it means more space for everyone. Plus, everyone can keep themselves to themselves. It’s awfully civilized, you know?
The thing is, when you leave a child in their own bathroom and don’t check up on them, things like this can happen. Clearly, no one has been around to show this kid how to squeeze his toothpaste like a human, not a small monster.
Could I Get in There?
Public transport is overflowing with jerks. Anyone that’s taken the bus, train, subway, or tram knows this simple fact. It’s basically math — with that many people, there’s a higher probability of rude, weird, or just inexplicable behavior.
Take these people, for example. They’ve decided to take the aisle seat on the bus, essentially preventing anyone else from getting the window seat. Sure, maybe these people don’t want to share, but we bet that other people don’t want to stand!
Straddling the Line
For as long as there have been parking lots, there have been jerks parking across two spots. You would imagine that this was exactly why parking lots were invented — to stop people from taking more space than they need. Clearly, though, people that want to take up space will do so no matter what.
We reckon that anyone caught doing this should just surrender their license on the spot. Is that harsh? Maybe. Is it still reasonable? Why yes.
Practice What You Preach
According to the dictionary, the definition of irony is a “state of affairs that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.” And here, folks, we have ourselves some irony.
This picture was taken after a climate march, and reads “The Earth Doesn’t Clean Itself.” This person may have been talking about plastic in the oceans, or non-renewable energy sources. But, they seem to have forgotten that Earth doesn’t clean up after them either.
You Used it Last
For any non-jerks among us, there’s a useful trick when you don’t want to refill something. You see, if there are three squares of toilet paper left and you don’t want to replace the roll, you can just use two squares. Now, that’s definitely annoying for the next person, but not for you.
Likewise, the person that used the remaining ice cubes here purposely left one behind. Instead of just filling the tray with some water, they’ve left the next person with just one lousy cube.
Why Do You Hate Me?
Before we get into this next image, let’s just acknowledge what’s gone on. Someone very kindly said that their friend could have a painkiller. Then they passed them a packet with one pill left on the snap-off strip. Beside that was a full snap-off strip with six pills.
The “friend” took one from the unopened side. Look, we know this might not be a big deal for some people. But for the rest of us, this is an act of aggression.
Pass the Superglue
Alright, now we turn to a couple who received a rather disappointing package in the mail. This pair was expecting a set of heirloom pre-World War II crockery. Obviously, this sounds delicate, rare, and maybe even valuable. Hurrah!
But it seems that whoever mailed this package was a total jerk. Either that, or they were someone with a very limited understanding of how the mail works. These antiques came with no bubble wrap or tissue paper, leaving just a box of cracked crockery.
Pick a Side, Lady!
In parking lots all across the world, there’s a war going on. On one side are the pedestrians, just trying to get to their vehicles in one piece without being hit by a car. On the other are the drivers, just trying to leave the parking lot without hitting a pedestrian.
Unfortunately, some drivers want to zoom around recklessly anyway. And some pedestrians want to walk slowly right in the middle of the parking lot drive lane.
Time to Climb In
So far we’ve identified jerks in offices, on public transport, in schools, and in parking lots. The conclusion? Jerks are everywhere! This picture shows two cars parked extremely close together.
This is because one car was parked safely between the lines, and another came along and parked way too close to it, over the lines. This means that the driver in the original car has to basically climb into the driver’s seat. We hope someone at least left an angry note.
Finding Freezer Explosions
Ok, we’ve learned that it’s not cool to leave raw chicken in the dry goods section, or coleslaw in the electrical section. But did you know, it’s also bad to leave non-frozen goods in the frozen section? That’s right, you did, because you’re not a jerk.
You see, when you leave random items inside a freezer, they expand, and then they explode. We can see how this might sound kind of funny, but it’s not funny when an underpaid worker has to mop it up.
I’ll Just Rest My Head
Remember the teenagers taking up two seats on the bus? Well, here’s that situation on steroids. Here there are three people lying horizontally across 12 airport chairs, even though everyone around them is crammed together.
We could understand if these people simply fell asleep when the lounge was empty and there was no demand for chairs. However, one of these people is on their phone, so they definitely know what’s happening in the present moment. This is not good airport etiquette.
Are You Messing With Me?
The person who took this photo asked their sandwich maker to cut their sandwich into three. Truly, if we made that same request and received this sandwich, we would think we were on a prank show.
Is it possible that the person who ordered this sandwich was a jerk? Maybe they were so rude and unpleasant that the sandwich maker simply had to cut their sandwich like this to teach them a lesson. Make it make sense!
I Simply Don’t Understand
For those of you unfamiliar with the weird habits of the English, let us fill you in. In England — and other parts of the UK — people still get their milk delivered by a milkman (or woman). Traditionally, when the milkman comes to take away your empty bottles, he’ll replace them with new ones.
However, this person’s new milkman doesn’t get that far. He simply takes the old bottles, and leaves the new ones randomly scattered on the paving stones. What’s his problem?