40+ Texts That Took an Unexpected Turn

Who Knew?

Isn’t it funny how you can work with someone for years and not even know them? This tweeter learned something new about the guy that he had been getting his stuff from for a decade. It had to be pretty shocking that he wasted such an opportunity.

Who Knew?

When he started this tweet, you know you were expecting him to be shocked at the dentist’s side hustle, right? That is what we thought too!

Doctor Knows Best

You know people can get pretty sensitive when it comes to their kids, whether they have two or four legs. This guy was just trying to make a point that sometimes those fun little monikers we come up with are a little ridiculous.

Doctor Knows Best

At least that is what we hope, because if he was serious about the name, then maybe some of the criticisms were completely justified!

Dog Lovers

A lot of people take their dogs with them everywhere. This way, they always have a constant companion and have an excuse to take the seat next to them. You know, so no weirdos sit there and try and make small talk. It clearly didn’t work for this lady though.

Dog Lovers

This woman probably thought the guy was going to make some sort of complaint but plot twist… he just wanted to make sure that he had the green light to pull out his four-legged baby. Even though what he said was unexpected, it was a sweet ending!

Three Isn’t a Crowd

Most of the time, people think a guy or gal’s best friend is their significant other, but that isn’t always the case. In this specific case, @joeheenan took his relationship with his bestie way too fair.

Three Isn’t a Crowd

We’re just surprised that after ten years, the wife hasn’t forced him to get it annulled. If we were in her shoes, we’d give Joe a serious ultimatum. Either he divorces his friend, or the wife should bounce!

False Advertising

How would you be if you got all excited at the intro to this advertisement only to find out it was for a Photoshop course!? We think you’d probably be a little upset, as were we.

False Advertising

But once we calmed down, we were able to better appreciate the humor behind this work of art. Say what you will about this being deceiving but once you realize what it’s all about, you should have that wonderful uh-huh moment.

Let’s All Stay Calm!

Politics can drive a wedge between families very easily. This is especially true if the house is divided into Republicans and Democrats. This is something we all learned over the last few years, but violence is never the answer.

Let’s All Stay Calm!

This person’s parenting techniques should be seriously called into question if this is actually true. We’re gonna try to remain calm optimists here and just say this parent has a dark sense of humor and is totally kidding.

There Are No Stupid Questions

Kids say the strangest things, right? Sometimes the words that come out of their mouth are inappropriate but, at that moment, are hilarious. Then there are times that they ask inquisitive questions you have to google to answer.

There Are No Stupid Questions

But when the kid is 24 years old and has some issues, the cuteness factor diminishes greatly. In fact, at that age, they can google the answer themselves!

Speaking the Truth

When you first start reading this note on the lab door, you think you are getting ready for a big philosophical reveal. But in the end, some staffer wanted to let it be known exactly how they feel about the lab and those who take care of it.

Speaking the Truth

While this note is very much cynical of this lab in question, we couldn’t help but laugh at it. From now on, when in doubt, just preach on how you follow this same principle.

Just Say No!

Sometimes you want to do the right thing and that often entails lending out a helping hand. But in truth, you don’t really want to do what the project or task is. Even still, you go ahead and offer anyway.

Just Say No!

The issue is that more often than not, people will take you up on that offer. So, remember to not do things to look nice but rather if you genuinely want to.

All You Can Eat

The skin can sometimes be the tastiest part of a meal. That is unless it is a thick rind like the one on a watermelon. We were all prepared to agree with this person until we realized he wasn’t referring to our trusty pizza crust.

All You Can Eat

What an anti-climax and plot twist all wrapped up into one! Sorry @m6ose, but we’re totally not on the same page as you. Though the rind is not inedible, raw is not the way to enjoy it.

Are You a Psychic?

When you are told by someone that you will never amount to anything, most people strive hard to prove that person wrong. So, when reading this tweet, we all assumed that some great success story was upon us. Well, the jokes on us, apparently.

Are You a Psychic?

It seems that this stepdad actually had a good grasp on his stepson’s personality and drive. Also, it’s good that the guy can admit to his faults. That’s usually the first step to solving them, right?

Don’t Lift a Finger

Chernobyl was a horrific tragedy, and a lot of documentaries have been made about it. But the biggest one was the HBO show about the area. If you watched it, didn’t you ever wonder how accurate it was?

Don’t Lift a Finger

This post initially had us believing that the Drama miniseries was full of mistakes until we got to the last part of the sentence… counting nine things on one hand? Something smells fishy here!

Security Upgrade

Inflation is a tough thing that we all have to deal with. For instance, remember when you could fill your tank for just $20? Ah, tasks us back to the good old days! It seems like this guy wanted to do exactly that by taking us back to his youth.

Security Upgrade

His story was all dandy until it got to the part with the five-finger discount. He’s pretty brave and arguably simple-minded for sharing his petty crime online. Money does go further when you are not using it!

Doctor Evil

It is always nice when your doctor has a little sense of humor. This can be helpful to make those tense moments less so, for instance, when you are talking about changing your diet which tends to be a sensitive and stressful topic!

Doctor Evil

While it’s good to be motivated to be healthier, the tactics the doctor used here are totally life-threatening and illegal. Even if this turns out to all be a joke, we’re not into it. Similarly to how we feel about juice cleanses and kale.

What Type of Side?

Family get-togethers can get heated. There is always someone who starts some sort of debate or argument. When this happens, you are often forced to choose a side, and that can snowball into even more arguments.

What Type of Side?

So in conclusion, it is best not to take sides, right? Well, it turns out that’s not the sides that @TweetPotato314 was referring to. But in response to him, what’s so wrong about taking a doggy bag home with you?

Never Give Up

Sometimes we hold onto resentment for teachers that didn’t believe in us decades after school has ended. It might make you strive to do the thing that they said you would never be able to do… But what if you can’t quite accomplish that achievement?

Never Give Up

Well, in this person’s case, you become super sinister and get excited over that person’s death. While there is humor to this post, we simply can’t condone someone who promotes the demise of others. Maybe the teacher had a good intuition about this guy after all.

Don’t Talk to Strangers

Sometimes talking things out with someone after a hard day can ease some of the anxiety and allow you to find a little peace of mind. But what do you do if you don’t have anybody? Well, apparently there are websites that allow you to just strike up a convo with a total stranger.

Don’t Talk to Strangers

Of course, the conversation may take some pretty unexpected turns. That is what this person found out and pretty quickly at that. We can’t quite get over that “pineapple under the sea” line. Perhaps this stranger was inebriated at the time.

Pick a Side

One of the finest people in a lot of people’s lives is their grandparents. Whether it is because they just are not in the know when it comes to a lot of the trends or just because they don’t care. There’s no denying that they often do and say some pretty wild things.

Pick a Side

This post was all well and good until it took a turn in an overly weird direction. Apparently, this person’s grandma has been linked on accident to some seriously sketchy stuff… We can’t even hold it against her, look how cute she looks in the picture!

Say What?!

We have all been there when we have sent an email or message off that can easily be misinterpreted. Sometimes it works out okay, and sometimes it really doesn’t. For this teacher, unfortunately, the last word was cut off and it made all the difference.

Say What?!

In fact, the whole tone of the message made a quick and unexpected turn when Google cut off the word “assignment.” We are sure that the teacher quickly made a new message to explain herself and life went back to normal in no time.

Finders Keepers

With the constant phone upgrades coming our way, we are all in a bit of competition to keep up with the latest and greatest. So when you do get a new phone, it makes sense that you want to show it off to everyone.

Finders Keepers

This person just wanted to be able to use their new phone and be left alone by the person who lost it. Wait, what!? We didn’t see that coming! Also, to the person who wrote this post, shame on you for being so shameless about taking what’s not yours!

So Messed Up!

You know that when you began reading this tweet that you were in for some dodgy ending. It wasn’t a good place to go, but you thought you had it all worked out. But surprise, the ending was a lot more wholesome than you thought, huh?

So Messed Up!

Probably because of the way the tweet was written, it looked as if the guy might have drunk something he shouldn’t have… But nope! The employee was just mad because the guy actually drank his milk. No weird business going on here!

You Got Us

You know grammar is a tricky thing. If you merely place a word in the wrong place, it can change the meaning of a sentence without your intending it to. In this case, we just assumed they were referring to the punctuation mark that is a colon.

You Got Us

Well, you know what they say about assuming… It usually doesn’t end well so it makes sense that we totally missed the boat on this one. Side note: Jane sounds like a terrible person and friend.

Dating Problems

Having your boyfriend’s family’s approval is important, especially around the holiday season. But it can sometimes be difficult to win the parent’s vote. So when we first read this tweet, we were fully on the girl’s side. But then we got deep into the comments…

Dating Problems

It’s all fun and games until you realize you’re dealing with a homewrecker. We went from being sympathetic for this woman to judging her super hard. We can’t believe the cannolis on her and that she would document her immoral behavior on social media.

Got Mugged

Being charitable is a wonderful trait and it can have a big impact on someone else’s life. So, when we first starting reading this tweet, we thought we were in for a typical and sweet story of giving back.

Got Mugged

Turns out we were sorely mistaken. It’s amazing how so much can change in the blink of an eye, or in this case, a second sentence… At least this guy was not harmed and lives to tell the crazy tale.

Are You Talking to Me?

Preach! This guy sounds like a person who is into protecting the land and the world in general. It seems like he has a good handle on the importance of allowing anonymity to the earth, but then the rant goes to an unexpected place.

Are You Talking to Me?

This whole thing was about a parking ticket! Who gets so philosophical over such a small thing? We hope the parking enforcement officer that issued this ticket took that all into consideration.

A Secret Admirer

Well, that explains a lot! This might be the reason why we are still single… Let’s all just blame Casper the Friendly Ghost? We were on board to do that until we got to the last sentence of this tweet.

A Secret Admirer

This girl must have been single for a while if she is inviting a ghost to be her boo-thing! No matter how long we have been single, we don’t think that we would ever be cool with what she’s suggesting.

Can’t Do It!

When we first started reading this tweet, we really and truly thought we were en route to receiving some good motivational message but turns out, we had it all wrong.

Can’t Do It!

We’re no therapists but to us, it sounds like @rabarbaro_ might have more resentment bottled up towards himself than his mother. We suggest that he attempts to deal with these real issues, as opposed to making these self-damaging tweets.

Crushing Tip

It is hard to get the courage up to approach someone you like and let them know it. It takes a lot of courage and strength to be able to take that risk of getting rejected. This person seemed to understand that and was going to offer some good advice.

Crushing Tip

However, this tweeter took a left turn on the positive road and ended up letting his past heartaches get in the way of him being a believer. It’s funny and sad all in one sentence!

Dear Diary

With the unprecedented times that were upon us from last year, we were introduced to self-isolation on a whole new level. The rules were laid out very clearly and you needed to go through 10-14 days of isolation if you thought you were sick.

Dear Diary

At first, it seems that this guy was just trying to be a thoughtful spouse. However, upon reading on, we realize he actually locked his wife out and is justifying his cruelty under the guise of quarantine.

Doctor on Board

Definitely not the ending you expected, right? Us either, but this stab at some dark humor sure made us chuckle when we got to the end. We know that this was just a person having a little fun.

Doctor on Board

Because if it wasn’t, this person wouldn’t be able to be writing this tweet because she’d be in jail! Right? Someone confirm this with us so our heart rate doesn’t spike.

Hey Handsome!

Meeting the parents or being invited to stay the night is a big step in any relationship. But having a slumber party with your potential father-in-law is a step that no one should ever take. No matter how handsome he is!

Hey Handsome!

This guy used a play on words to make you go one way when he was ready to take you another. This is just too funny! We wonder how the dad took it… We just hope he’s got a great sense of humor.

Now You See It

When you are out at a restaurant, you should always be very nice to your server. Otherwise, weird acts like them hiding your meal will be the least of your worries. We really wonder what this person did for the waiter to hide their meal. Suggestions are welcomed!

Now You See It

We actually like how this chat changed so quickly. Initially, we expected this to just be some mundane conversation but instead, it turned into something rather sinister. Here’s to being kept on our toes!

Doctors Are People Too!

Mental health is no joke, and so the statistic here is not so shocking to see. But that means when you are in the room with three people, only one of you is depression-free (for the most part).

Doctors Are People Too!

So, with that in mind, we don’t like this tweet even though there was that surprising one-liner at the end. There are so many things out there to joke about, let’s find something better!

Pep Talk

This starts out like the script from some cliche romantic comedy or adult movie but then the plot thickens, and it is not at all what we thought was going on. But that makes it even more fun!

Pep Talk

The giggle insert is worth the whole tweet! However, we do think this guy might need a little more practice before staging a robbery. Actually, we take that last part back…

Too Soon

When we are kids, we get a lot of nicknames. Some of them are cool, and others are mean. By the time you finish this story, what turned out to be a cool nickname seems like one that is meant to be very mean.

Too Soon

This fun tweet is a sarcastic play on the original stories of that famous Web-Slinger. It seems like one thought that only comic book geeks might understand. How niche can you get?

Make a Choice

Look at that face! If you had to choose, you might just make the same choice as this guy did. This cute puppy found a home only to find out someone was allergic. That shouldn’t be the pup’s problem, right!?

Make a Choice

This guy is real brave to be posting this on social media where the wife can see. We bet that if you look at her page, she has an advert trying to get rid of her husband too!

Such Fun Facts!

This post starts out full of great information. As you read, if you are just skimming it, you may not register the change in tone as it is well written and seems to flow with the rest of the post. But the tone definitely turns about halfway through.

Such Fun Facts!

This is a great trick to make sure someone is paying attention to what they are reading. How many of you caught the fluffy popcorn nugget?

Prerequisites

It’s posts like this that make us really worried about the overall intellect of our current generation. We’re not saying that we’re all dummies but there are a few exceptions that really bring our smartness down.

Prerequisites

To us, and most sane-minded humans, it is obvious that you wouldn’t test out if something was waterproof if you yourself couldn’t swim. Unfortunately, not everyone is on our same page of common sense.

I’m Watching You

It is always fun to play with words that are spelled the same but have different meanings. You can come up with some pretty creative stories like this one about a peach cobbler. Not the one you’re thinking of!

I’m Watching You

This story is unexpected as you think this person is talking about food when she is really talking about a little elf who makes shoes… we think! It’s for sure one of the stranger posts we’ve seen but truth be told, all this talk of peaches is making us hungry.

Personal Protocols

You know when you are at home, you sometimes wait to pick up, so the person on the other line doesn’t think you are too eager. Well, that is fine at home, but at work, that may be pushing your luck.

Personal Protocols

Especially if you work in a 911 call center. But even still, this little story is pretty funny. We just hope it is just that, a story! Otherwise, this police department should be heavily investigating who they’ve hired to do this critical job.

A Girl Can Dream

Since the Covid-19 pandemic began, traveling has been put on the backburner. And while a lot of us just wish we could just be transported to an island like Figi, the truth is that FOMO has always been a thing, long before this travel ban started.

A Girl Can Dream

The lavish high-life of traveling, glamorous purchases, and relaxing on some tropical beach appeals to us all but real-life circumstances get in the way and stop this dream from coming to fruition. These dream crushes include kids and taxes – you get the drift.

Change the Song

When it comes to music on our phones, radio, or TV, if we don’t like a particular tune then we can just change the song or the channel. However, life is not always so simple. What happens if you’re at a restaurant or cafe and a song that you loathe pops on?

Change the Song

Well, there are a few ways you can go around this predicament. You can choose to be annoying and ask a waiter to change it, you can just be miserable and let it play or you can be totally obnoxious and leave the place as this guy did. As you can tell, none of these scenarios have a happy ending.

What Did He Do?

The only way in which this wife would commit such a dangerous act, like opening a car door while the car is still going is if somebody really got her worked up. We’re just going to assume from the tone of this dude’s tweet, that he was indeed the culprit.

What Did He Do?

So, that brings us to our next thought – what did he do? We’re so curious to know… We’ve got every idea possible running through our heads from a cheating scandal to her finding the receipt for his new and expensive golf clubs.

Money Hungry

Money really does help to make the world go round but it’s not everything in life. That’s why we get irked when we hear about people doing these purely for monetary benefits.

Money Hungry

Take, for example, Mr. Funny here who thinks he’s so smart with his snarky tweet. Well, the joke is on you man because we’re pretty certain you’re still single. Have fun with your imaginary dollars!

Too Good to Share

We all know that sharing is caring but there comes a time when we just have to be selfish and keep our goods to ourselves. This could be in the form of clothes, body and skincare products, or our personal favorite, food.

Too Good to Share

That’s why we can’t blame this mom for blatantly deceiving her kid so that she can savor the last bites of her beloved cheesecake. Even though mothers are expected to be honest and fair, we all have our sacred items and hers happens to be this.

Meet My Girlfriend

Introducing your new love interest to your family can be daunting, so it’s best to have that encounter once you feel like you really know the person. However, if you happen to be married and cheating on your spouse, then the time to make this introduction is never.

Meet My Girlfriend

Instead, we have a different suggestion in mind – how about don’t cheat in the first place? If you don’t feel like you can stay being faithful to someone then marriage isn’t for you. Try adopting a puppy if you get lonely – they won’t mind if you bring over more.

Bush Baby

There’s a reason why your ex-partner is your ex, so having a relationship with that person after being together can prove to be very difficult. That’s why most people recommend not to keep in touch with old flames, especially if you have someone else on the scene.

Bush Baby

However, from time to time, we all get curious and want to know what our ex is up to. At this point, a social media stalk should do the trick. Anything else beyond that i.e. hiding in the bushes is unacceptable and downright creepy.

Do Not Use

Call us slow but we seem to be missing something here. At first, this just looks like a generic label for a chopping board but upon closer inspection of the instructions, we realize this board should not be used for that. So now you’re caught up as to why we’re so confused.

Do Not Use

What can this board be used for? To surf on? As a trivet for hot food? The options are endless but the company that created it really needs to stipulate the board’s real purpose.

‘A’ for Effort

Most of us take pride in our cooking and want the recipients of our food to both enjoy and appreciate our hard work. So, when this doesn’t happen it can be a pretty heartbreaking and embarrassing experience.

‘A’ for Effort

In situations like this, we say that laughter is the best medicine. Don’t let others know just how much your subpar meal has affected your confidence. You can always cry in the back while you secretly order dessert to compensate for your cooking.

Just Be There

Sometimes in life when you’re going through a hard time, all you need to hear from your family and close friends is that they’ve got your back and are there for you. That feeling of support can carry you through some of your lowest lows.

Just Be There

But you’re not going to feel all that comforted knowing that a perfect stranger is thinking of you so remember to make sure that you know the person well before you start to share your deeper thoughts. Or in this case, just know the person at all…

Didn’t Expect That

This couple has a very playful relationship, that is all we have to say. Oh yeah, and someone in the relationship has a quick wit. We will let you guess who we think that is.

Didn’t Expect That

As for this girlfriend, we’re assuming she’s a little slow to put two and two together since we figured out this crime drama pretty quick. It’s obviously all one big joke though, right?!!

Anything for My Kids

Sometimes older people don’t understand everything about the modern political and social scenes. But if they try to make an effort, despite their basic beliefs, that person is very lucky.

Anything for My Kids

Though maybe someone should tell him eventually that although his support is appreciated, his daughter is not gay. Or perhaps he will figure it out when she brings home her next boyfriend. If only we could be flies on the wall when that happens!

Man Crush Monday

This message started out as one that looked like it was going to be about equal rights advocacy. But then, like a rollercoaster, the course changed real quick. But we can understand why this guy feels this way. After all, it’s Chris Evans.

Man Crush Monday

But feeling something for him doesn’t mean anything. After all, who doesn’t have a man-crush on this dude? If you raise your hand that you don’t, then maybe there’s actually something wrong with YOU.

Perseverance Is Key

Having a mantra or something that keeps you going even on a hard day is a great asset. However, the backstory to this guy’s sentimental wallet picture is pretty astonishing. We’re actually short on words here.

Perseverance Is Key

We really didn’t see that psychopath card coming so bravo to this poster for being an excellent storyteller and really keeping us hooked until the last word. Plus, he gets extra credits for the plot twist!

Listen to Them!

When you’re a parent, you brag about your kid’s accomplishments nonstop. That is just the way it is! So we can’t blame this guy for being so proud of his daughter’s verbal capabilities. In fact, they sound pretty impressive.

Listen to Them!

It shouldn’t matter that these kids have four legs, a tail, and a beautiful fur coat. The accomplishments are still amazing! In some ways, it is even more impressive than if these kids were actually human! That is if he’s not pulling our leg here…