We have all been there. The occasional fight with your significant other that could have been easily avoided if one of the sides chose slightly different words. Conflict in relationships is inevitable but that doesn’t mean there is nothing you can do when an argument arises. Sometimes, it’s what you don’t do. Here is why asking your partner if they are mad is never a good idea.
A Common Misconception About Good Intentions
Are you mad at me? How many times have we heard or asked the same question trying to resolve an argument or start a difficult conversation? Perhaps, too many. But what’s so wrong with it? Behind it, there is usually a well-meaning intention. Asking your lover if their mood dip has anything to do with you or something you have done is wrong for many reasons.
First of all, it unlocks a chain of reactions. Your partner will most probably feel confused or even more annoyed as a reaction. Neither is the potential resolution you are looking for anyway. It’s just five words but they can make a situation much worse than it needs to be. No matter what signs your partner is giving you, whether they actually seem mad at you or not, it’s just a no-no thing to ask.
What to Ask Instead?
Okay, you know enough to tell that there really is a problem and your partner’s vibes are just not right. What do you do if you can’t ask whether you are the reason for that or not? A much more suitable question would be something like, “Is there something bothering you?” or “It seems like you are upset. Is there something you want to talk about?” You get the message. It’s important to never make assumptions before you have asked.
Undeniably, relationships are rarely simple. While communication is definitely key, knowing when to give your partner space and how to frame your question and concern is crucial.